Workin out is working out!

Couldn't think of a different title :oP

So I started out at weighing 328 pounds and now proud to say I'm at 284! That's a 44 pound loss! I can't believe I took that much off in only a little over 4 months! I guess that's about right but for someone that's always been overweight it seems like a huge milestone! Most of my body is still flabby but I can start to feel more of my forearms and biceps getting dense. I'm going to lose this weight and get in shape no matter what I have to do! I'm going to make sure I maintain a healthy diet, won't be starving myself. When I lost this weight previously the fad diet was basically starvation...
I think what's motivating me now is I just want to experience a solid body. I don't want any flab, anywhere! I wonder if it's even possible for my body to actually look good when this weight comes off... I guess I can't dwell on it too much just lose this weight and go from there I guess.
OMGawd, losing weight is such a mental battle! The feelings your body goes though because you're making it adjust to something new is tragic! Today I was feeling anger, depression and hate! I know this isn't how i normally feel, I just had to tell myself I can overcome these feelings, I am stronger. My body wants to just go home after work and veg but I forced myself to go to the gym. The gym helped release those feelings as well, which is a great thing!
I made a goal for next month of losing 16 pounds before August! So far it's going good, I'll be sooo happy if I meet this goal! It will put me at a 59 pound loss and at a weight of 269! I think back now to February and think of me stepping on that scale and weighing 328! I will never get to that weight again! So many more things are changing in my life just because of this loss already, I am so excited to get down to 190! Who knows what change that will make in my life!