I'm uneasy about posting private things of myself online any more. When I created this blog I knew that anything I write here could potentially be stored for my lifetime and anyone could read it. It feels easy to just write anything here but I have to remind myself that this is view-able by the world and people I don't feel comfortable dropping my guard with may be reading something that I feel vulnerable about. I'm not sure where my future will lead me but I want to make sure nothing comes back to bite me in the ass as well!
So why did I write this? Perhaps it's just to remind you (and myself) that I know you're reading!
Actually I'm thinking of things I want to say and I can't... perhaps this will be my final post. Perhaps this is indeed my final post. The things I'd like to express are too painful and I know there's no one out there that is compassionate enough. I feel we're all creatures of selfishness and that's ok, I'll leave here now and deal with the issues and you won't hear any more of it. Perhaps if I don't give the problems any thought they won't exist? Silly you think but it's true. Our mind controls so much more then you've ever imagined. I believe we can heal ourselves with meditation of how we want ourselves to be in this world.
One day I'll come back here to tell you it's all different, that my life is finally how I wanted it to be. You'll read this in the future and think of how it all felt like an instant. It will be gratifying yet scary to think all the time that has passed. Look into the reflections and pluck the one you most desire and have it come to truth, all you have to do is live it and it will all come to pass.
