Friday, May 20, 2011

Friendship -My Attempt At Understanding?

Friendship is actually a topic I probably shouldn't write about. I think I've had a lot of bad experiences with friends and perhaps my opinion of friendships is going to be a negative one... I read online that a true friendship requires for the 2 people to have something to gain from one another. This doesn't mean a material object but a benefit to the other person, mentally. When I think about it, it makes sense.. Why do we like having friends? They make us happy and they are capable of pulling us out of daily worries and stress. I'm not sure why I'm writing this but when i started this blog I promised to myself and I think I wrote that I would never delete something I started writing... I feel the urge to now because I'm not really sure where this is going but I'll leave it...

I read that having a true friendship while in a marriage can help the woman and/or the man cope with stress and personal issues. Of course these "true friends" are with the same sex as the person, not the opposite. I believe that cross-sex friendships would only causes issues in a marriage... I guess for some people there are personal issues or things going on in their life that they can't or don't feel comfortable telling their partner in marriage. I always thought you'd be able to speak about anything to your partner. I guess I'm writing this because I'm not sure what a strong or true friendship is any more. I don't need friends for the mental or emotional support, (I think) I've got that under control; but having friends to at least be a more social person is a great thing. Some people really need and depend on friends, which is a great and healthy thing. It's just, I hope you don't put too much dependence on friends because at some point and time they'll let you down. You've gotta be strong for yourself.

Writing this blog I believe has helped me to be more in touch with my feelings and also understand other's feelings at the same time, some how. I can have conversations about controversial topics and still maintain a calm and relaxed composure without feeling offended or mad at the other person for not having the same views. I used to be pretty bad at holding a grudge for the person when they didn't think the same way I did. Anyway, I had a pretty personal convo with someone today and I was proud of what I had to say and how I said it. I value all life of human beings as highly valuable and never want to see a death of an innocent person, after or before being birthed. This person did not have the same views as I. I think certain wisdom comes to a person from age and their view of life is different at the age of 80 as their view at 20. I believe the 80 year old has the true perspective of life and what it really means and what we're supposed to do with our life. I told this person my raw thoughts and opinion (meaning I didn't sugar coat anything and just gave them examples of how a human thinks of age). I didn't realize that this would cause them to be emotional and I never even thought I could change a person's views of life, but I'm pretty sure I did. That reason is why I write this blog. I'm not sure if I make any sense to you reading this but I write it because it's on my heart. I rarely speak from my heart, I worry how someone will accept it and if they will accept it.

The real reason on why I wrote this is because I'm confused. I don't know what a friendship is or how one is supposed to work. All I can do perhaps is offer me, myself as an honest person with myself and with you. If we present ourselves as a false self we will never gain a closeness and eventually it will shatter and the realization of the wide gap will be there. Perhaps I am not the only one who hasn't been true, perhaps now I can see people of who and what they truly are and I'm noticing the gap now between us. We've been brain washed into feeling we have to act a certain way around specific people and cannot truly just be ourselves, personal, deep, thoughtful self. I mean everyone won't want to hear EVERYTHING we always have to say but if we are true to ourself at all times than that's all that matters. I think the easiest way of defining "being true to ourself" is not having he conscience thought or worry that someone isn't going to accept us for how we look or for who we are and believe. If this is the case we also won't feel like we need to impress anyone because if they don't like us for ourself than why bother to build a weak bridge over a gap they'll eventually crumble. Don't even waste our time... Be kind but be honest.