So if you read the previous blog entry about my two dreams I had this morning, I feel these are some how connected to an actual experience I had and a dream from about 18 years ago.
I was sitting in my family room on the recliner, watching TV. My Dad was asleep and my mom hadn't come home from work yet. As I was watching TV I noticed something out of the corner of my eye, a white plastic bag from Universal Studios with E.T. on it was hanging from the back rest of the dining room chair. As I looked at the bag I noticed it was moving. The bag had something in it that I knew weighed it down enough to where a fan or draft from the A.C. could not be moving it. Yet as I watched, it was moving back and fourth. It freaked me out and I did nothing until my Mom came walking in. As she walked in, the bag stopped moving.
The reason I mention this is because that very same bag was the bag I has used to put the fruit my grandfather gave me in my dream from the previous blog entry.
And now for a dream I had about the same time, 18 years ago...
In the dream it seemed like my family was having a birthday party for me. All of my family from the Mattix side was over celebrating something. I can remember wanting to show my Grandfather and his friend some sort of item of mine. I want to say it was a medallion of some soft but I cannot remember, I mostly only remember what happened in this dream, not many specifics. In this dream it felt like it created a sense of history of dealing with this problem. The issue was, I felt an invisible force constantly tugging and pulling on me. No matter where I was this force could pull me in any way it wanted. It could grab my shirt sleeve or even arm and start pulling me away. I was so frightened by this force, I assumed it was a spirit or ghost doing this to me. For some reason I felt not only terrified of it but also embarrassed of it, I spent most of my time trying to ignore it.
So as I waled to my room to get this item i wanted to show everyone I felt this force start to mess with me. I got the item and went back to the family room and showed everyone. As I was showing it to everyone the force that was pulling me started to happen again. It was pulling my sleeve back toward the front of my house. What's weird is imagine someone actually pulling you by your sleeve. If you swing your arm in a circle you can make the person pulling it break away from you. So this is what I did while talking to everyone and making it look like I swang my arm in this way as part of me explaining what I was showing them. After doing this this force of being pulled left and didn't bother me again for a while.
What's so interesting about this dream is how it has come true in my life. No I'm not physically being pulled by the sleeve but mentally I sometimes deal with the same issue. I feel anxious and feel like I'm being sucked out of my life or like I can't experience it fully. I'm constantly being pulled back into my feeling of safety and not wanting to experience anything new. I sometimes have wondered if this dream was a sign of what I'd be dealing with in life.