Sunday, September 19, 2010

We Judge Ourselves By Intention & Others By Actions

The same applies to others, they judge us by our actions. Funny because I got this little phrase from a fortune cookie and it really got me thinking...

First I want to decide on if we truly judge ourselves on intention, here's how and what I judge myself on...
  • Ability to hold a conversation: I feel flat out stupid if I don't know what someone is speaking about. I guess this is an insecurity created by myself believing I never had a proper education from being home schooled.
  • Ignorance: I feel like no matter how much a study I will always be ignorant to everything around me. I realize though that this is also something that helps motivate me.
  • My body image: I simply hate it.
15 minutes later... I can't think of any other ways I judge myself, except for the positive ways I judge myself which happen to be the opposite of the same items listed. It seems like my self judgment sits on a teeter-totter to create an even balance just enough to function. I have my days when the negative side is the heaviest and VERY rarely the positive side ever is. I feel like the way I judge myself seems to be on the thoughts and opinions of others might have on me. Which is pretty ironic because obviously I can't read any one's mind and therefore make everything up in my own mind of what their thinking of me. I wouldn't call this judging myself by my intentions, I judge myself like... an angry stranger, they don't know you but they know they hate you... I'm not a hateful person but if I did hate anyone I guess it would be myself.

It's getting late and I got work tomorrow... I'm glad I wrote this because I think I discovered something interesting about myself. I need to meet the real me, I need to really get to know who I really am....

No comments:

Post a Comment