Close To The Core

So in my recent blog, "A New Angle" I mention about finding the motivation to start working out. What I mention in that blog is what  I believe finally got me to start. What's enabling me to continue is my long time obsession with wanting to look in shape. It's never good to be obsessed with anything but in my case the obsession is helping me to continue working harder toward my goals. There's actually a term for an obsession with the male physique and it's named, "The Adonis Complex". I believe people become obsessed for different reasons and in my situation I think it's because I've never known what it's like to be in shape and have missed a lot from being overweight. Maybe not really missed out, but lacked the confidence to live a typical/average life.

I write this blog (and all of my blogs) for other people that may be going through the same thing as I. For the person whom may have no one else to talk to about it and wonders if they're "normal". I know a guy that has been through this very same situation and it's messed with his mind. I'm not going into specifics here but if you're not careful obsession can lead to corruption. If you wanna talk about being obsessed with anything feel free to get in contact with me! Knowing you're "normal" and others might think the same way as you can be the first step into handling your problems. Anywho...

This might seem strange but I'll sometimes project my thoughts and self into a different person I'll see who might be in the shape I'd like to be in. I'll try to imagine living their life and think of the things I'd have the confidence to do. When I "remove" myself from them, I notice on how they don't realize their own capability. Perhaps they have created insecurities that prevents them living a fulfilled life, just like myself! I was looking at old pictures of myself from about 6 years ago and realize on how much better and actually attractive I looked. Yet at the time, all I was thinking was how fat, ugly, stupid and how much better everyone else was around me. I wouldn't let myself live. To be honest, I'm probably doing the same thing right now. I may be attractive to some people but I cannot let myself become close to anyone because I still feel insecure about my body. When I reach my goal weight though, and reread this blog, I'm going to remember... No matter what I think of myself, I LOOK GREAT! Stop obsessing and accept the fact that the goal has been met and I am no long morbidly obese!

I think if everyone thought this way about themselves we would all have so much more confidence and accomplish so much more in our lives! I already think you're perfect so why should you be worried on how other people may perceive you? In my most recent blog I mention on how I feel like I had an "epiphany" over the weekend. I think this feeling comes from finally realizing that we are all truly human. We all have most of the same thoughts, we all want the same things in life and some of us cannot always control or stop the extreme obsessive ways our mind may think. Realizing that your MTP (Mental Thought Process) is slightly out of whack, is the first step in defeating it. I'm almost 26 and it took me this long to figure it out. You might wonder if something happened to finally make me realize and yeah something did happen. I met someone I'd normally feel super insecure around and by realizing and applying what I just wrote about, made me feel at ease. Might sound easy to those who know nothing about being morbidly over weight or socially anxious but to those who do, you know the excruciating feeling and can imagine having it disappear.