Where was I...

So wow, it's been a super long time since posting a blog! I admit that I don't want to share anything too deep since I'd rather have people I meet in real life discover myself for themselves. Besides that though, here I am writing another blog!

My grandparents health is not well so I've been staying a night on the weekend to help out. Yesterday I was able to borrow some old family videos to capture and eventually write to DVD or Blu-ray. It's interesting how watching older videos can effect your opinion about people still in your life and where your life is heading.

I'm 30 years old now and I can look back on my life and see how quickly things have moved. In these videos my Grandparents are in their early 50s. All of my memories of them don't seem to have aged. I see them today in their 80s, frail and needing a lot of assistance and I wonder when did this happen? When did everything change? It literally seems like it creeped up and surprised me, I didn't see the gradual change and this is something video points out.

I'm afraid that another 30 years will slip by without me noticing. The lives we live now offer more convenience and time savings but we're over looking our lives. We don't get outside and do as much, we stay inside and sit on Facebook, our phones, watch TV, movies... we don't socialize with family, some family I didn't know existed...

I was thinking about technology compared to that of the 80s/90s. VHS tapes didn't offer the best of video quality but it offered a way to archive video. Just recently my friend lost every single photo and video of her 1 year old son due to these images being on her phone and getting deleted with a tap of a button. I'm converting videos from the 80s right now so I ask you, what technology is better? If Facebook was gone where would our relationships with people stand? If our power grid collapsed forget about people not knowing how to stay alive, people wouldn't know how to communicate. Sure people know how to talk but people in the next generation don't know the soft skills, the people skills, the personality to be-friend a person in real life. This simply friendliness is being lost. People only look out for themselves and they get off on destroying others. America's becoming corrupted and we don't even recognize it. We don't live in a modern society, we are just living in a time period, a period of people that are losing touch.

I release you...

All the lies that I've created, the false image I've shaped myself to be. I don't know how this mentality came to be but it has to end now. I never believed I was an attractive person, thought I was hideous and an unbearable sight to see, looking back on the photos of myself weighing around 210, I realize it's been a lie.

Something I have yet to discover is why I've created and have these lies looping in my mind 24/7. I didn't meet my weight loss goal for last year but the rest of my life is going to be different now. I refuse to live my life in the background, in the shadows, cowering in the dark. I'm my own worst enemy and if I can overcome myself I can overcome anything!

Here's to that bastard I've been living with, you're dead now! Here's looking toward the rest of my life! C|iii|     Cheers!

Evil in the Last Days

2nd Timothy 3:1But realize this, that in the last days difficult times will come. 2 For men will be lovers of self, lovers of money, boastful, arrogant, revilers, disobedient to parents, ungrateful, unholy, 3 unloving, irreconcilable, malicious gossips, without self-control, brutal, haters of good,…

I know it's been a while since I posted but I've missed the blog and this scripture stood out to me today... 

I would like to talk about specific occurrences in my life but can't due to this being public, however I will talk about my thoughts of the outcome of the situations. Sometimes evilness will present it's self in a professional, respectable manner. It can come across as someone making statements they believe in and with the ability to make you feel ignorant for not considering or believing these supposed facts that are just second nature to the person. I have the feeling that this happens a lot to people but they don't consider the source of the manipulation. The Devil specializes in distorting the truth and hoping you'll accept the wrong beliefs of someone else just because you think they're respectable. 

In a world that stresses having an "open mind", some have been backed into a corner of accepting liberal agendas. If you believe in traditional values or morals you're considered screwed up in the head or narrow minded. This ultimately is a form of the Devil's work that's being pushed all over the world and so many followers are falling for it. If this world doesn't accept you for what you believe in than I feel that it's safe to say that you're doing something right!

Think of a timeline of eternal life, ETERNAL LIFE and put the measly time of our lives on it. Depending on your view point you won't even be able to make it out. I'm thinking about that because if our life here is a test of our position in the afterlife we really should take a step back and view how we spend our time. Are we lovers of money? Are we boastful and enjoy bragging to those who may be less fortunate? Do we respect others, do we offer a loving attitude to everyone? I think my worst sin is being a lover of self. If I could only stop being so focused on myself so many problems in my life (ones I create) would simply vanish. 

I'm not perfect and I know it's wrong to judge people but I'm surprised sometimes when I see people of Faith, religious leaders, being boastful or some even mocking the Lord (Holy Spirit more specifically). So many people that believe they're Christians, going to heaven are going to have such a rude awakening one day... I'm not sure what's worse, to knowingly being a sinner or to ignorantly be a Christian? The sinner may eventually seek guidance whereas the ignorant Christian thinks they're already doing God's will.

Where am I

How did I get here? The better question, where am I going? Here I am stranded in this god forsaken vessel, lost at sea. At some point I was made blind to many things... I'm able to see the beginnings of a shore but it just seems galaxies away. I worry that I'll never make it, I once was able to escape into my dreams but now I'm starting to convert them as well.
If only I could topple this invisible blockade and break these non-existent chains, perhaps then I would see that everything I need to reach the shore was already with me, inside this vessel.

The Burden of Deja-Vu

You walk out of the room and into a busy highway, stuck by a semi, your life has ended. You made the choice of walking into traffic which ended your life. We can agree that our choices have a direct effect on our life. Perhaps you live your life alone yet three years ago you could have altered the current reality? Perhaps three years ago you got married and had a child. Right now your child could be standing next to you, their hand on yours ,wanting you to play. Instead you're here alone, your wife, child, that life, doesn't exist in this reality. Imagine you could go back 3 years and make a choice that would effect other choices into making your pseudo-family a reality. If we could look back into our history and pluck and exchange our choice for one we wish we made, these people would literally appear right before us. This isn't just wishful thinking, God has the ability to rewrite our history and our future yet he leaves the decisions up to us.
What if the reason you're feeling down for some unknown reason is because you can feel the effects of these possible life-altering choices? Something else that's interesting if that everything in our life is shaped by our choices, even if we have evil people around us that are doing everything in their power to condemn us, make us feel worthless, like we're just not good enough, they still don't control our life. They may be able to create situations where we have to make choices but that's what you should realize, is that we still have our choices to decide. No one can actually control us or make our life worse, we choose everything that happens to us.

So don't do what makes you feel happy, do what makes you feel encouraged. When we operate on feelings of happiness we may come to find out that we were wrong in expecting something to make us happy. If you live your life by things that encourage you, you can feel assured that your choice was influenced by something you really thought was going to make your life better or for something you thought was right. It won't always be easy but I believe you'll feel happy making tough decisions.

Matthew Mcconaughey's Academy Award speech

This has topic has been on my mind and I want to write about it now after Matthew Mcconaughey's acceptance speech at the Academy Awards for best actor. I'm seeing a lot of posts on Facebook from Conservative and Christian people surprised on how much Matthew mentions and thanks God. I guess some Christians are happy to see him speak so openly about God at the Academy Awards in front of so many God-less people.
Normally I would also praise him for something like this but I can't... I don't know what Mcconaughey's personal life is like or his relationship with the Lord but how can someone be in the movies he's starred in like, Magic Mike and thank God for his direction in their life? Mcconaughey mentions and I'm paraphrasing, the opportunities in my life were created by no other than God, no human hand was responsible for his success. Mcconaughey unfortunately has this wrong. I realize the movies he's starred in are just that, movies and don't necessarily reflect his personal life but how can I person of God play in a movie about being a male stripper? As Christian's, our objective on this earth is to be like Jesus and to spread his word. I have yet to see a movie that Mcconaughey starred in which praised Jesus.
Isn't mentioning God on national television and believing He played a role in our success throughout life, a good thing? No, people that have seen these movies that worship the human body and they will relate these images to someone who is now praising God. I know we may all have a past we're not proud of but as far as I can tell, Mcconaughey pays no thought to the content of movies he stars in. In my opinion this does a disservice to God, to me this says, do anything you please in life, God is all loving! God is all loving and forgiving but as it's written, we will be disciplined for our actions.

Now I remember why this has been on my mind... A friend on Facebook believes that homosexuality is acceptable by God and having a homosexual pastor over a congregation is wonderful since the pastor must have such an "open mind". This kind of logic is created by satan and to claim to be a Christian and influence other's to believe such a thing, basically boils down to worshiping satan. Satan is the only one whom benefits from this spreading of untruth. The reason's on why I think it's not good for Mcconaughey to speak about God can also be applied here.

We all have the freedom of making our own decisions and what we believe in. There's been a few instances recently where I have expressed my opinion and the other party has expressed their's. The way some people can explain and describe particular topics may make you feel that the person has much more experience in the field or have done much more research than you, in other words, they can possibly make you feel uncertain or question what you believe. My Godly beliefs are very strong, people may irritate me by their comments but my honor to God will never be moved. I said all that to say this, don't give up on what you believe in! No matter how much people will make you think you're wrong or hateful there could come a time when they realize they've been wrong. In my experience most people will keep quite when they realize they're in the wrong or brush it off as like it was actually beyond their control and they can't be responsible for what they once believed was correct. I'm the type of person that will be the first one to call myself out on something I'm wrong on, that's part of being a humble person and also part of growing. If you can accept that you're wrong and change your beliefs and thank the person that shed light on the topic than you're a very rare person indeed, one that will have a much more pleasant time going through life. These recent events of me witnessing someone being so blatantly wrong is an eye opener. It tells me to stand for what I believe in because on a day like Judgement day you don't want to be standing before the Lord trying to brush off all your choices like they were something you had no control over! That sinking feeling in your gut in front of our Lord must be dire but I think of how the Lord must feel knowing that instant you realize you've been wrong, YOU'VE BEEN FOOLED BY THE WORLD! God tried to make us aware of how satan can deceive us but we just brushed it off... Just as Christians want to plant a seed of God's word in hopes that it will blossom into a relationship with the Lord, satan works the same way by planting a seed in us with a movie, song, picture which satan hopes will blossom into temptation. In reference to my previous post (which I still haven't had time to write more about) satan will do anything no matter how big or how small to throw that perfect frequency off, once it's off the frequency requires our conscience thought and work to re-balance. If we're not continually checking the frequency to ensure it's balanced it only becomes harder to correct.