How did I get here? The better question, where am I going? Here I am stranded in this god forsaken vessel, lost at sea. At some point I was made blind to many things... I'm able to see the beginnings of a shore but it just seems galaxies away. I worry that I'll never make it, I once was able to escape into my dreams but now I'm starting to convert them as well.
If only I could topple this invisible blockade and break these non-existent chains, perhaps then I would see that everything I need to reach the shore was already with me, inside this vessel.
Sunday, August 10, 2014
Tuesday, May 13, 2014
Tuesday, March 25, 2014
The Burden of Deja-Vu
You walk out of the room and into a busy highway, stuck by a semi, your life has ended. You made the choice of walking into traffic which ended your life. We can agree that our choices have a direct effect on our life. Perhaps you live your life alone yet three years ago you could have altered the current reality? Perhaps three years ago you got married and had a child. Right now your child could be standing next to you, their hand on yours ,wanting you to play. Instead you're here alone, your wife, child, that life, doesn't exist in this reality. Imagine you could go back 3 years and make a choice that would effect other choices into making your pseudo-family a reality. If we could look back into our history and pluck and exchange our choice for one we wish we made, these people would literally appear right before us. This isn't just wishful thinking, God has the ability to rewrite our history and our future yet he leaves the decisions up to us.
What if the reason you're feeling down for some unknown reason is because you can feel the effects of these possible life-altering choices? Something else that's interesting if that everything in our life is shaped by our choices, even if we have evil people around us that are doing everything in their power to condemn us, make us feel worthless, like we're just not good enough, they still don't control our life. They may be able to create situations where we have to make choices but that's what you should realize, is that we still have our choices to decide. No one can actually control us or make our life worse, we choose everything that happens to us.
So don't do what makes you feel happy, do what makes you feel encouraged. When we operate on feelings of happiness we may come to find out that we were wrong in expecting something to make us happy. If you live your life by things that encourage you, you can feel assured that your choice was influenced by something you really thought was going to make your life better or for something you thought was right. It won't always be easy but I believe you'll feel happy making tough decisions.
What if the reason you're feeling down for some unknown reason is because you can feel the effects of these possible life-altering choices? Something else that's interesting if that everything in our life is shaped by our choices, even if we have evil people around us that are doing everything in their power to condemn us, make us feel worthless, like we're just not good enough, they still don't control our life. They may be able to create situations where we have to make choices but that's what you should realize, is that we still have our choices to decide. No one can actually control us or make our life worse, we choose everything that happens to us.
So don't do what makes you feel happy, do what makes you feel encouraged. When we operate on feelings of happiness we may come to find out that we were wrong in expecting something to make us happy. If you live your life by things that encourage you, you can feel assured that your choice was influenced by something you really thought was going to make your life better or for something you thought was right. It won't always be easy but I believe you'll feel happy making tough decisions.
Monday, March 3, 2014
Matthew Mcconaughey's Academy Award speech
This has topic has been on my mind and I want to write about it now after Matthew Mcconaughey's acceptance speech at the Academy Awards for best actor. I'm seeing a lot of posts on Facebook from Conservative and Christian people surprised on how much Matthew mentions and thanks God. I guess some Christians are happy to see him speak so openly about God at the Academy Awards in front of so many God-less people.
Normally I would also praise him for something like this but I can't... I don't know what Mcconaughey's personal life is like or his relationship with the Lord but how can someone be in the movies he's starred in like, Magic Mike and thank God for his direction in their life? Mcconaughey mentions and I'm paraphrasing, the opportunities in my life were created by no other than God, no human hand was responsible for his success. Mcconaughey unfortunately has this wrong. I realize the movies he's starred in are just that, movies and don't necessarily reflect his personal life but how can I person of God play in a movie about being a male stripper? As Christian's, our objective on this earth is to be like Jesus and to spread his word. I have yet to see a movie that Mcconaughey starred in which praised Jesus.
Isn't mentioning God on national television and believing He played a role in our success throughout life, a good thing? No, people that have seen these movies that worship the human body and they will relate these images to someone who is now praising God. I know we may all have a past we're not proud of but as far as I can tell, Mcconaughey pays no thought to the content of movies he stars in. In my opinion this does a disservice to God, to me this says, do anything you please in life, God is all loving! God is all loving and forgiving but as it's written, we will be disciplined for our actions.
Now I remember why this has been on my mind... A friend on Facebook believes that homosexuality is acceptable by God and having a homosexual pastor over a congregation is wonderful since the pastor must have such an "open mind". This kind of logic is created by satan and to claim to be a Christian and influence other's to believe such a thing, basically boils down to worshiping satan. Satan is the only one whom benefits from this spreading of untruth. The reason's on why I think it's not good for Mcconaughey to speak about God can also be applied here.
We all have the freedom of making our own decisions and what we believe in. There's been a few instances recently where I have expressed my opinion and the other party has expressed their's. The way some people can explain and describe particular topics may make you feel that the person has much more experience in the field or have done much more research than you, in other words, they can possibly make you feel uncertain or question what you believe. My Godly beliefs are very strong, people may irritate me by their comments but my honor to God will never be moved. I said all that to say this, don't give up on what you believe in! No matter how much people will make you think you're wrong or hateful there could come a time when they realize they've been wrong. In my experience most people will keep quite when they realize they're in the wrong or brush it off as like it was actually beyond their control and they can't be responsible for what they once believed was correct. I'm the type of person that will be the first one to call myself out on something I'm wrong on, that's part of being a humble person and also part of growing. If you can accept that you're wrong and change your beliefs and thank the person that shed light on the topic than you're a very rare person indeed, one that will have a much more pleasant time going through life. These recent events of me witnessing someone being so blatantly wrong is an eye opener. It tells me to stand for what I believe in because on a day like Judgement day you don't want to be standing before the Lord trying to brush off all your choices like they were something you had no control over! That sinking feeling in your gut in front of our Lord must be dire but I think of how the Lord must feel knowing that instant you realize you've been wrong, YOU'VE BEEN FOOLED BY THE WORLD! God tried to make us aware of how satan can deceive us but we just brushed it off... Just as Christians want to plant a seed of God's word in hopes that it will blossom into a relationship with the Lord, satan works the same way by planting a seed in us with a movie, song, picture which satan hopes will blossom into temptation. In reference to my previous post (which I still haven't had time to write more about) satan will do anything no matter how big or how small to throw that perfect frequency off, once it's off the frequency requires our conscience thought and work to re-balance. If we're not continually checking the frequency to ensure it's balanced it only becomes harder to correct.
Normally I would also praise him for something like this but I can't... I don't know what Mcconaughey's personal life is like or his relationship with the Lord but how can someone be in the movies he's starred in like, Magic Mike and thank God for his direction in their life? Mcconaughey mentions and I'm paraphrasing, the opportunities in my life were created by no other than God, no human hand was responsible for his success. Mcconaughey unfortunately has this wrong. I realize the movies he's starred in are just that, movies and don't necessarily reflect his personal life but how can I person of God play in a movie about being a male stripper? As Christian's, our objective on this earth is to be like Jesus and to spread his word. I have yet to see a movie that Mcconaughey starred in which praised Jesus.
Isn't mentioning God on national television and believing He played a role in our success throughout life, a good thing? No, people that have seen these movies that worship the human body and they will relate these images to someone who is now praising God. I know we may all have a past we're not proud of but as far as I can tell, Mcconaughey pays no thought to the content of movies he stars in. In my opinion this does a disservice to God, to me this says, do anything you please in life, God is all loving! God is all loving and forgiving but as it's written, we will be disciplined for our actions.
Now I remember why this has been on my mind... A friend on Facebook believes that homosexuality is acceptable by God and having a homosexual pastor over a congregation is wonderful since the pastor must have such an "open mind". This kind of logic is created by satan and to claim to be a Christian and influence other's to believe such a thing, basically boils down to worshiping satan. Satan is the only one whom benefits from this spreading of untruth. The reason's on why I think it's not good for Mcconaughey to speak about God can also be applied here.
We all have the freedom of making our own decisions and what we believe in. There's been a few instances recently where I have expressed my opinion and the other party has expressed their's. The way some people can explain and describe particular topics may make you feel that the person has much more experience in the field or have done much more research than you, in other words, they can possibly make you feel uncertain or question what you believe. My Godly beliefs are very strong, people may irritate me by their comments but my honor to God will never be moved. I said all that to say this, don't give up on what you believe in! No matter how much people will make you think you're wrong or hateful there could come a time when they realize they've been wrong. In my experience most people will keep quite when they realize they're in the wrong or brush it off as like it was actually beyond their control and they can't be responsible for what they once believed was correct. I'm the type of person that will be the first one to call myself out on something I'm wrong on, that's part of being a humble person and also part of growing. If you can accept that you're wrong and change your beliefs and thank the person that shed light on the topic than you're a very rare person indeed, one that will have a much more pleasant time going through life. These recent events of me witnessing someone being so blatantly wrong is an eye opener. It tells me to stand for what I believe in because on a day like Judgement day you don't want to be standing before the Lord trying to brush off all your choices like they were something you had no control over! That sinking feeling in your gut in front of our Lord must be dire but I think of how the Lord must feel knowing that instant you realize you've been wrong, YOU'VE BEEN FOOLED BY THE WORLD! God tried to make us aware of how satan can deceive us but we just brushed it off... Just as Christians want to plant a seed of God's word in hopes that it will blossom into a relationship with the Lord, satan works the same way by planting a seed in us with a movie, song, picture which satan hopes will blossom into temptation. In reference to my previous post (which I still haven't had time to write more about) satan will do anything no matter how big or how small to throw that perfect frequency off, once it's off the frequency requires our conscience thought and work to re-balance. If we're not continually checking the frequency to ensure it's balanced it only becomes harder to correct.
Sunday, February 16, 2014
The Perfect Frequency
I was going to write about this last night but decided not to
since I just thought it was going to be another typical depressing blog about
my struggle with weight. I didn't plan to continue giving this thought but it
was in my mind again and it seems to make more sense now...
If you're a believer in our Creator I
think you'll agree that God created human beings in His image. Now the rest
that I have to say, you may not agree with but this is what I feel. I don't
believe people born with disabilities or other physical ailments have happened
by a mistake of nature. I believe that God puts us all into our bodies to see
how our soul will react and adapt to our environment. Even people with mental
disabilities who can't make choices for themselves may not benefit in the same
way as those who are average but they may impact someone else's life beyond
what they know.
Although our bodies may not be perfect I
think God created a perfect soul. What I've been thinking about I can only
describe as a frequency. It's a system or state of our being that we're not
aware of. I wouldn't classify it as our conscience or even sub-conscience but a
system that gets effected by our conscience along with many other variables. I
feel like it's the process that runs behind the sub-conscience, it's what
generates the thoughts of action for our sub and conscience thoughts. When I
think of our sub-conscience I think of the process that keeps us alive. It's
our instincts, it's the thought process that controls our bodies when we're not
quick enough to make decisions, it's how we really think and feel when we're
not aware of something. A sub-conscience is something we can't specifically
control but at the same time doesn't necessarily mean we can't shape it. How do
we shape something that we can't even control? That's where my idea of a
"Frequency" comes in...
I believe that God has given us all a perfect operational frequency, a source of power that generates who we are.
This frequency cannot be directly tempted by satan, (remember what I'm talking
about has no source of information it's simply what I am feeling). When we are
tempted by sin it's always from an external source. Like in the Garden of Eden,
satan came to Eve (in I believe the form of a snake?) to temp Eve to eat from
the forbidden fruit. Satan didn't generate internally in Eve and posses her to
eat of the fruit, he came to her externally. Eve made a decision with her
conscience to eat the forbidden fruit. God did not create Eve with the intention
of having her accept sin, He created her perfectly, although God didn't create
humans in a prideful manner to only serve Him, no He created humans with the
ability to accept or reject Him. He created something that has a mind of it's
own. Think about that... Humans can only dream about creating artificial
intelligence and in 2014 it still hasn't happened. To create artificial
intelligence you must be willing to accept that everything you create may
backfire on you and even hate you for creating it. Yet humans will continue to
strive to create artificial intelligence because it interests us, even if we
don't entirely know the risks.
What God did though was create an intelligence but also provided
this process behind the scenes of the intelligence that is part of Him.
Regardless of the conscience decisions we make this process running behind the
scenes will continue to remain perfect, exactly as He created it. Although this
process is perfect that doesn't mean it can't be modified or have an extension
that isn't as the original intended. The way we modify this process is by what
we allow into our conscience and willingly make decisions about. Any effect to
our perfect frequency can be directly attributed to what we allowed through our
conscience. Imagine a long and tall wall, lined and stacked with doors. The
thing that lies behind these doors is the frequency God created, what allows
things into this frequency is what we allow to pass through to our conscience.
Now you may think that this sounds pretty philosophical and
impossible to actually control but I think it's not. Although this decision
within our conscience of keeping doors sealed or open to manipulate our
"perfect frequency" seems out of reach, it's not. You see, although
these decisions to allow information to pass deep within the mind and into your
perfect frequency (which will ultimately modify your conscience) are not
processed by the mind. Yeah that's what I said, the way to control your mind
and thoughts isn't by controlling your mind and thoughts. As an example, I deal
with temptation of sin in my mind almost 24/7 it seems. My mind thinks of
things I hate to admit I think of. My mind will sometimes lie to me and make me
believe in things that simply aren't true. With all this corruption in my mind
how can I simultaneously be writing about how I think God is loving and created
us in His image? How can I get thoughts such as these I'm writing if sin
consumes my mind? I suggest the answer is, these thoughts are from my "perfect
frequency". If my "perfect frequency" could be accessed directly
by my conscience or sub-conscience it would immediately be attacked until destroyed.
Manipulating our "perfect frequency" (a process some
will say does not exist), can only be done physically. It's not even something
you have to choose to believe in or not, you're modifying it right now! I
believe the way our perfect frequency is modified is through sensory
information. The things we see, hear, speak, touch, eat, do or have done to us.
Our physical bodies ingest this into our prefect frequency and in turn our
perfect frequency influences our sub and conscience thoughts.
I will continue this at another time but for now some examples of
what I'm talking about:
Dieting and fighting weight: Perhaps the problem isn't your love
of pastries and other fatty foods, maybe the only way you were shown love and
happiness in your life was by eating good foods? Perhaps this distorted your
frequency into operating in a state that has your sub-conscience show love and happiness through
food? For argument sake, we'll say this is your situation and you even know it's true
but you can't change it! Why? You need to reset your perfect frequency back to
it's original state!
I could go on with some really good examples but it's getting late, now that I have typed this out I am excited to see it all and am more
excited to share a method of exploring your feelings. A method I have read and
learned about from someone else who has successfully modified their "perfect
frequency" although they call it "their power". What I wrote
tonight does sound similar to something I've read before but their version was different
and geared toward a specific area. In this post, I'm suggesting that this
perfect frequency affects every aspect of your life. I'm excited to talk more and learn about this!
Wednesday, February 12, 2014
Sweet Dreams
I think this song describes the human nature pretty well. Some people want to use you others just want to be used. We travel the seven seas looking for something, never to find it...
I've been traveling for a while now, still haven't found it. Guess my problem is I don't know what I'm looking for. I'm kind of mad because I planned to have lost some weight by now but I haven't, well I'm pretty sure I haven't. I know my diet and sedentary lifestyle is unhealthy and it just feels like I can't get myself out of it! It sucks... I don't know what my problem is but I need to snap out of it. I know I should be happy but I'm not. :o/
Thursday, December 26, 2013
2013 - Another Year Gone
I used this as my title for the post on 1/1/2013 but think I meant to put 2012.
Well I accomplished 1 thing from my list of 2013 goals and that was purchasing a house! If you've ever purchased a home you know that this is a pretty big feat, so I'm pretty proud! I'm sure I'll continue to spend 2014 working on making it my own!
I'm kind of depressed that I gained 18 pounds during this year instead of losing weight. It doesn't come as a shock, I've been stressed and extremely busy with work, I just wish I weighed less instead of gaining. I'm not sure what 2014 will bring but I only foresee health issues if I don't get serious about losing...
While reading last years post I found it ironic that I was sick as I am sitting here writing this with a sore throat. Glad my body waits until after Christmas to get sick! I should make myself a note in Google calendar to start drinking vitamin C supplements before Christmas!
The other items besides losing weight on my 2013 goals were becoming a CCNP and starting my Bachelor's degree. Neither happened but I did take the first of 3 CCNP tests, and passed. My boss wants me to take a CCNP bootcamp so perhaps that will happen this year? Work has been so crazy this year that there really wasn't time to do studying. The Bachelor's was just totally out of the question, in my honest opinion it's not going to help me any more than a vendor certificate and experience will do. I'm not trying to make excuses but there are some legitimate reasons.
Predictions for 2014:
I will weigh 250 or less by 2015
I will get a significant promotion by 2015
I'll have my CCNP certificate
Someone close to me will pass on
Things I've learned during 2013:
Almost everyone I know is two-faced
Material objects no longer make me happy, at all
Material objects mean the world to a particular person I know
People of "tolerance" are the biggest hypocrites
I have not been home sick at all since moving out, as I predicted before moving.
Well I accomplished 1 thing from my list of 2013 goals and that was purchasing a house! If you've ever purchased a home you know that this is a pretty big feat, so I'm pretty proud! I'm sure I'll continue to spend 2014 working on making it my own!
I'm kind of depressed that I gained 18 pounds during this year instead of losing weight. It doesn't come as a shock, I've been stressed and extremely busy with work, I just wish I weighed less instead of gaining. I'm not sure what 2014 will bring but I only foresee health issues if I don't get serious about losing...
While reading last years post I found it ironic that I was sick as I am sitting here writing this with a sore throat. Glad my body waits until after Christmas to get sick! I should make myself a note in Google calendar to start drinking vitamin C supplements before Christmas!
The other items besides losing weight on my 2013 goals were becoming a CCNP and starting my Bachelor's degree. Neither happened but I did take the first of 3 CCNP tests, and passed. My boss wants me to take a CCNP bootcamp so perhaps that will happen this year? Work has been so crazy this year that there really wasn't time to do studying. The Bachelor's was just totally out of the question, in my honest opinion it's not going to help me any more than a vendor certificate and experience will do. I'm not trying to make excuses but there are some legitimate reasons.
Predictions for 2014:
I will weigh 250 or less by 2015
I will get a significant promotion by 2015
I'll have my CCNP certificate
Someone close to me will pass on
Things I've learned during 2013:
Almost everyone I know is two-faced
Material objects no longer make me happy, at all
Material objects mean the world to a particular person I know
People of "tolerance" are the biggest hypocrites
I have not been home sick at all since moving out, as I predicted before moving.
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