The Perfect Frequency

I was going to write about this last night but decided not to since I just thought it was going to be another typical depressing blog about my struggle with weight. I didn't plan to continue giving this thought but it was in my mind again and it seems to make more sense now...

If you're a believer in our Creator I think you'll agree that God created human beings in His image. Now the rest that I have to say, you may not agree with but this is what I feel. I don't believe people born with disabilities or other physical ailments have happened by a mistake of nature. I believe that God puts us all into our bodies to see how our soul will react and adapt to our environment. Even people with mental disabilities who can't make choices for themselves may not benefit in the same way as those who are average but they may impact someone else's life beyond what they know.

Although our bodies may not be perfect I think God created a perfect soul. What I've been thinking about I can only describe as a frequency. It's a system or state of our being that we're not aware of. I wouldn't classify it as our conscience or even sub-conscience but a system that gets effected by our conscience along with many other variables. I feel like it's the process that runs behind the sub-conscience, it's what generates the thoughts of action for our sub and conscience thoughts. When I think of our sub-conscience I think of the process that keeps us alive. It's our instincts, it's the thought process that controls our bodies when we're not quick enough to make decisions, it's how we really think and feel when we're not aware of something. A sub-conscience is something we can't specifically control but at the same time doesn't necessarily mean we can't shape it. How do we shape something that we can't even control? That's where my idea of a "Frequency" comes in...

I believe that God has given us all a perfect operational frequency, a source of power that generates who we are. This frequency cannot be directly tempted by satan, (remember what I'm talking about has no source of information it's simply what I am feeling). When we are tempted by sin it's always from an external source. Like in the Garden of Eden, satan came to Eve (in I believe the form of a snake?) to temp Eve to eat from the forbidden fruit. Satan didn't generate internally in Eve and posses her to eat of the fruit, he came to her externally. Eve made a decision with her conscience to eat the forbidden fruit. God did not create Eve with the intention of having her accept sin, He created her perfectly, although God didn't create humans in a prideful manner to only serve Him, no He created humans with the ability to accept or reject Him. He created something that has a mind of it's own. Think about that... Humans can only dream about creating artificial intelligence and in 2014 it still hasn't happened. To create artificial intelligence you must be willing to accept that everything you create may backfire on you and even hate you for creating it. Yet humans will continue to strive to create artificial intelligence because it interests us, even if we don't entirely know the risks.

What God did though was create an intelligence but also provided this process behind the scenes of the intelligence that is part of Him. Regardless of the conscience decisions we make this process running behind the scenes will continue to remain perfect, exactly as He created it. Although this process is perfect that doesn't mean it can't be modified or have an extension that isn't as the original intended. The way we modify this process is by what we allow into our conscience and willingly make decisions about. Any effect to our perfect frequency can be directly attributed to what we allowed through our conscience. Imagine a long and tall wall, lined and stacked with doors. The thing that lies behind these doors is the frequency God created, what allows things into this frequency is what we allow to pass through to our conscience.

Now you may think that this sounds pretty philosophical and impossible to actually control but I think it's not. Although this decision within our conscience of keeping doors sealed or open to manipulate our "perfect frequency" seems out of reach, it's not. You see, although these decisions to allow information to pass deep within the mind and into your perfect frequency (which will ultimately modify your conscience) are not processed by the mind. Yeah that's what I said, the way to control your mind and thoughts isn't by controlling your mind and thoughts. As an example, I deal with temptation of sin in my mind almost 24/7 it seems. My mind thinks of things I hate to admit I think of. My mind will sometimes lie to me and make me believe in things that simply aren't true. With all this corruption in my mind how can I simultaneously be writing about how I think God is loving and created us in His image? How can I get thoughts such as these I'm writing if sin consumes my mind? I suggest the answer is, these thoughts are from my "perfect frequency". If my "perfect frequency" could be accessed directly by my conscience or sub-conscience it would immediately be attacked until destroyed.

Manipulating our "perfect frequency" (a process some will say does not exist), can only be done physically. It's not even something you have to choose to believe in or not, you're modifying it right now! I believe the way our perfect frequency is modified is through sensory information. The things we see, hear, speak, touch, eat, do or have done to us. Our physical bodies ingest this into our prefect frequency and in turn our perfect frequency influences our sub and conscience thoughts.

I will continue this at another time but for now some examples of what I'm talking about:

Dieting and fighting weight: Perhaps the problem isn't your love of pastries and other fatty foods, maybe the only way you were shown love and happiness in your life was by eating good foods? Perhaps this distorted your frequency into operating in a state that has your sub-conscience show love and happiness through food? For argument sake, we'll say this is your situation and you even know it's true but you can't change it! Why? You need to reset your perfect frequency back to it's original state!

I could go on with some really good examples but it's getting late, now that I have typed this out I am excited to see it all and am more excited to share a method of exploring your feelings. A method I have read and learned about from someone else who has successfully modified their "perfect frequency" although they call it "their power". What I wrote tonight does sound similar to something I've read before but their version was different and geared toward a specific area. In this post, I'm suggesting that this perfect frequency affects every aspect of your life. I'm excited to talk more and learn about this! 

Sweet Dreams

I think this song describes the human nature pretty well. Some people want to use you others just want to be used. We travel the seven seas looking for something, never to find it...

I've been traveling for a while now, still haven't found it. Guess my problem is I don't know what I'm looking for. I'm kind of mad because I planned to have lost some weight by now but I haven't, well I'm pretty sure I haven't. I know my diet and sedentary lifestyle is unhealthy and it just feels like I can't get myself out of it! It sucks... I don't know what my problem is but I need to snap out of it. I know I should be happy but I'm not. :o/

2013 - Another Year Gone

I used this as my title for the post on 1/1/2013 but think I meant to put 2012.

Well I accomplished 1 thing from my list of 2013 goals and that was purchasing a house! If you've ever purchased a home you know that this is a pretty big feat, so I'm pretty proud! I'm sure I'll continue to spend 2014 working on making it my own!

I'm kind of depressed that I gained 18 pounds during this year instead of losing weight. It doesn't come as a shock, I've been stressed and extremely busy with work, I just wish I weighed less instead of gaining. I'm not sure what 2014 will bring but I only foresee health issues if I don't get serious about losing...

While reading last years post I found it ironic that I was sick as I am sitting here writing this with a sore throat. Glad my body waits until after Christmas to get sick! I should make myself a note in Google calendar to start drinking vitamin C supplements before Christmas!

The other items besides losing weight on my 2013 goals were becoming a CCNP and starting my Bachelor's degree. Neither happened but I did take the first of 3 CCNP tests, and passed. My boss wants me to take a CCNP bootcamp so perhaps that will happen this year? Work has been so crazy this year that there really wasn't time to do studying. The Bachelor's was just totally out of the question, in my honest opinion it's not going to help me any more than a vendor certificate and experience will do. I'm not trying to make excuses but there are some legitimate reasons.

Predictions for 2014:

I will weigh 250 or less by 2015
I will get a significant promotion by 2015
I'll have my CCNP certificate
Someone close to me will pass on

Things I've learned during 2013:

Almost everyone I know is two-faced
Material objects no longer make me happy, at all
Material objects mean the world to a particular person I know
People of "tolerance" are the biggest hypocrites
I have not been home sick at all since moving out, as I predicted before moving.

Don't Think Just Do

The most encouraging words I heard today and perhaps ones I needed to hear for a while. Words that need to resonate in every part of my life. I do waay too much thinking and not enough doing. I need to make this life easier on me and just start doing without worrying what other people think. It seems like I'm starting to realize that so many people I've tried to please are hypocrites, I try to think of some people in my life that aren't and can count them on my hand. If only I could release the want of pleasing other people and just live for myself, I'd feel free. I'm going to start doing that, in fact I'm writing this now because I realize that it's what I've started to do. I guess when you begin to feel like nothing else is left you start living according to how you feel.

My final attempt is approaching, if I miss it this time I'm done... no more chances left...

1:17:22

It's frustrating to me to see a person claim to be Christian yet accept Homosexuality. Bobby Conway speaks the purest truth...

The Calling

Have you ever had a dream that was influenced by outside noises? Like once I've accidentally left the TV on and fell asleep. I'll hear particular parts of whatever is on and I'll start dreaming it. Well I'm writing this blog because I just experience something like this...

Right now it's about 10:00am and I'm sort of in and out of sleep.

I start dreaming that I'm at a friend's apartment, on the second story, sleeping in his recliner and then something startled me. I hear two people arguing that I believed was a boyfriend and girlfriend or husband and wife. I hear the husband or whomever it was, shouting but it was in a calm loud voice, I also hear the wife but she is screaming so loud it sounded like she was in shock and someone had died or was about to die. So then I look out the window, I see dense trees and a person with a light searching for someone in the woods. He kept yelling out searching for the person, I can't remember the name of the person he was calling for but I assumed he lost his child. As time went on I was able to make more sense of the words that were being shouted from both of them. The husband was definitely looking for his child but the mother on the other hand was so furious at the husband. Every time he would call out for the child she would scream at the top of her lungs, telling the husband to STOP! She was cursing at him calling him every name in the book and every time he called for his child the mother would just get more furious, she sounded like a bat screeching, I was waiting to hear a gun shot because it sounded like the woman wanted the husband dead.

And this is why I mentioned the beginning... Eventually I realized that I was not dreaming these sounds of arguing, I was actually hearing this! I woke up and started to listen for these sounds again but they just faded away. I realize what they were now... The Lord was calling my name and Satan was getting angry. Satan was doing whatever he could to drown out the voices of The Lord. Satan was becoming so frantic at The Lord for calling to me. I have never experienced anything like this before but now I know what I have to do, I have to answer the Lord's call by drawing closer to Him.

I Need A Reason

I'm still battling weight loss... right now the weight gain is winning... For the past 2 months I've been facing something different than I've ever experienced before when trying to lose weight. I'm starting to not care about losing weight, almost like I'm giving up at wanting to try any more. Are some people just meant to be overweight? I see some people that workout twice a day, 7 days a week and I wonder why someone wants to spend that much time in the gym. When do they relax, when do they indulge in the really good (bad) food and desserts? Why deprive yourself from fatty foods? Sure eating like that will make you fat and probably have a heart attack at some point in life but aren't we all going to die? I sound like some friends who tell me they aren't concerned about smoking and getting cancer because they know they will die some time anyway. I think that thought process is wrong but at the same time there is some truth to it. Someone that's in shape doesn't necessarily extend their time on earth, anyone could get into a car accident and be killed. Some sort of tragedy could occur and take your life.

If you're happy with yourself and your quality of life then you are perfect, regardless of how much you weigh.

Myself on the other hand. I am not happy with my life and the quality of life isn't top notch... I thank the Lord for the blessings He has given me. Less than 2 years ago I was working at a furniture store making 2 bucks over minimum wage, now I have a job in my field of study that's paying 3x over minimum wage, my car is paid off and I own a home! So much has changed in such a short amount of time it couldn't have been none other than the blessings of the Lord. I thank God for giving me everything. Even with my life on a good track, I'm still not entirely satisfied... I have to lose this weight. There are plenty of reasons on why I should and want to lose weight but I think they all boil down to this, I want a wife and family. No matter what I accomplish in life, no matter how much money I have, I'm not going to feel happy until I have my own family. I know God wants to bless me with this but it's the one thing I won't let Him bless me with. My weight over the span on my life has effected so many different aspects. You couldn't begin to understand unless you were in my shoes. It's aggravating when someone tells me they know what I'm going through because they had a similar problem... unless they were also 100+ pounds overweight for a majority of their life, you have NO IDEA! A person that's grown up average weight and then put on muscle doesn't have a clue what the work is like to first drop 100 pounds. I know they put in the work to become more muscular but if you're addicted to food and first have to drop weight you just don't know what it's like and never will. The way a person that's addicted to food and the lifestyle of a person that's been average weight for their entire life, cannot be comprehended by either party. I've been working with a trainer for the past 5 months and have come to the conclusion that trainers just aren't going to give me the type of help I need. The type of help I need can only come from 1 person, MYSELF. The feeling of being broken at the center of my core has to be mended. The  thoughts that are always on my mind which blur out my positive conscience have to be tuned to a different channel. The way I comfort myself when doing good, with spending time with friends, when I'm happy, dealing with stress, when worried, when feeling depressed, have to change from eating to (something that has to be determined).

A talent I have is being able to predict what the future will bring. Not in a "fortune teller" type of way but in a way where I can see my ultimate goal and apply that toward the work I do today. It may not come for many years but I can see it coming to fruition. From now on I will remind myself that the reason I workout is for the prospect of one day having a family. If you could look at the core of my being you would see how impossible this seems. It feels like I'm trying to cross a fiery volcano using a broken bridge. It seems intimidating and impossible to do, people have even said don't try to cross because you'll only make it so far before coming back. To those people I say to them what Jesus told Satan in Matthew 16:23,

""Get behind me, Satan! You are a stumbling block to me; you do not have in mind the concerns of God, but merely human concerns.".